To truly die…….today we are bound by what the world, society, even “religion” quantifies at death……….dass was diagnosed with a rare illness a few years ago and the first thing that came into dass’s mind was “what is death” the prospect realy scared me……….without the Guru death is your worst fear………….

 The mind of of manmukhs mind like mine see the death of the body……the decay and decease of the body…….and we think that is the end…oh how wrong…….when a butterfly emerges from its coccon…….only he knows the liberation he has gained and looks back at its formor shell with delight………

Oh how backwrds the world is…..we cling to this shell which will perish……Guru Ji tells us soooo many times what is real and what is false but, as it says in Sukhmani Sahib, the fools falls in love with the shadow of a tree but when it disappears he feels regret in his heart…………..

 Death hangs around my neck……i can almost feel the breath on the back of my neck……..waheguru is so amazing that her reminds us that nothing is permentant here……live as though u are a guest here…….everything is waheguru’s……he has simply entrusted this shell to us……….our job is to simply take care of it………not make it ours………

bhul chuck maafi

im not sure what to make of this “feeling” it began about 2 days ago……….and has steadly increased with its intensity……………..but if i can can begin to express some understanding of it……it is like sitting on the side of a fence and watching yourself………yet u are powerless to stop any of your actions………..an awareness has arisen…………with this a longing……..a desire…….and a sweet pain ensues……..the feeling is not bad……..it is constant……..

 I do not know what to do……..i contemplate it…….i find myself delving deep into the inner fortress of myself……..where im surrounded by my very own evils…….yet i do not feel frightend……i feel sheltered………….the bad things are always there but now they seem…..bearable………..

Feelings are strange………and alien to me………but to feel……..the experience is something else………..there is a light at the end of the tunnel……..almost like through all the bad thoughts, evil intent…..a small deminishing light and catches ur consiousness and dissapears before you even register its here…………..i feel i had discovered how to hope

Hope for something better, hope that if not today…….someday………the inner peace i so desperatly crave will come………..someday……..oneday……….

Many have been celebrating Vaisakhi recently and this got Dass thinking about how greatful dass is for Maharaj blessing such a worthless, useful, papi with amrit di dat……even as dass writes, dass cannot contemplate or describe the feeling……….

Love………again a term that in todays world is used  so much………but very  rarley is it felt or experienced………….The above shabad is by our Founder and Sacheh Pitta Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Ji Maharaj……

 When A child is scared, instinctivly looks for his mother……..his eyes search anciously for her familiar, kind face…….and as soon as he sees her……..and she she him……..instantly his is comforted by the loving glace of the person who, he knows loves him more than anything……..the fear, pain, anguish is lost in that moment he has made contact with his physical maker…..

The soul is very similar…….it cries to go back to its Home……its True Home……those pangs of separatation we feel from time to time, the sadness that cannot be describe and come without reason……..those moments where it feels like waheguru is standing right next to us……..the feeling cannot be put into mere words……..

 We are lost in this shell, that we call life………Guru tells us how to find him…..we dwell on the words……..think we are doing exactly that……….put to give your mind to Waheguru…….is no mudane task………..where there is mind, there is maya……..where there is maya…………there is no waheguru…..we cannot have both…………..

 The mind was never ours to begin with………we need to return it back to it maker……..the human being cannot understand the mind……but one who embraces his own True Self has embraced God………the mind is diminished…………and the the True aim of human life is discovered………

Indentity……….recogition………praise………..appreciation………look them up in a dictionary and you will find very different meanings for them all…………but look inside yourself………these words cease to exist………..but born is the dependancy we have on these things……….We depend on “knowing” we exist……….we cannot take satifaction that there is a being that created us and he is watching us, appeciating us where we remember Him, comforts us when we cry out in pain, listen to the rambling of our mind, lifetime after lifetime as a patient lover who dotes on every word his beloved speaks…………

Oh waheguru……………this cannot continue………..i cannot control this mind……………why should i? it not my to control…………..when there was You………..i did not feel the separation that we call Me, Them, I, You………….”I” dont want to be anywhere where there is no You, Where You are, that is where I am because You are me and I, You……………please help me realise this…………..i want to fall into your arms………..i want to love you with a depth that know no bounds…………….im dead being separated from you………….i knw nothing……….i feel nothing……………….expect the pain of not being with You………………..i cannot see…………….everything has become dark…………….i cannot hear…………when your God Song is not sung…………….the howling of the winds resounds with emptiness…………………….i cannot to speak………..even to utter your priase comes with your will…………….how can i be with you?

Who am I?” as soon as we pose this question to our unfaithful mind……..it takes us on a journey to the surface of our mind and the flith, uncertainties, vunerabilities, insecurities WE harbour…………..this confortation cannot be handled by an idle mind……….this is the stage where the majority of us reside, quite happly, in this bubble of self denial………………so we look to the world, draw comparisions………………..listen to the Guru but think about aplying it later………………..who are you, who am i?  Are we anything? are we everything.?………….this journey of self discovery is one that we must all go on………….if we are to achieve to the key the the Door of Liberation………….

The Woman of Yesterday…………who is she? what was she? where has she gone?

Thats realy depends on what kind of women we saw when we reflect on the yester-years whereby times were simple……….needs were simple………..families sought joy and pleasure through simply “being”………….we see a young mother at home nurturing her children………..teaching them the wrong and rights of life………….

 The woman of today wants to stand shoulder to shoulder with her male counterpart…….she donns the powersuit………….educates herself…………adornes herself with all sorts to educational and superfitial merit to prove her worth in a male dominated society……………..She sees the woman of yesterday and sees a surpressed, suffocated woman who has wasted her life being stuck in the cage of family life and upbringing…..and prides herself at her lucky escape…………

 The woman of Yesterday looks at the woman of today as sees and lifeless souls that, in seeking equality and status and merit for being a woman……..has lost the very thing that makes her a woman………….her soul

 Guru Nanak Dev Ji praises the God given right of a woman and places a divine light around the task she was given by waheguru: -

mÚ 1 ]ma 1 ||
First Mehla: BMif jMmIAY BMif inMmIAY BMif mMgxu vIAwhu ]
bha(n)dd ja(n)meeai bha(n)dd ni(n)meeai bha(n)dd ma(n)gan veeaahu ||
From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. BMfhu hovY dosqI BMfhu clY rwhu ]
bha(n)ddahu hovai dhosathee bha(n)ddahu chalai raahu ||
Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come. BMfu muAw BMfu BwlIAY BMif hovY bMDwnu ]bha(n)dd muaa bha(n)dd bhaaleeai bha(n)dd hovai ba(n)dhhaan ||
When his woman dies, he seeks another woman; to woman he is bound. 

so ikau mMdw AwKIAY ijqu jMmih rwjwn ]
so kio ma(n)dhaa aakheeai jith ja(n)mehi raajaan ||
So why call her bad? From her, kings are born. BMfhu hI BMfu aUpjY BMfY bwJu n koie ]
bha(n)ddahu hee bha(n)dd oopajai bha(n)ddai baajh n koe ||
From woman, woman is born; without woman, there would be no one at all. nwnk BMfY bwhrw eyko scw soie ]
naanak bha(n)ddai baaharaa eaeko sachaa soe ||
O Nanak, only the True Lord is without a woman.

My sisters, mothers see your True worth…………….see the beautiful gift that waheguru has blessed you with……..u are the silent warriors that enshrine Sikhi into your brood and ensure that the Garden of Guru Nanak is evergreen and the like the flowers that blossom, you are the true khalsa…………..in ur soul………..you have merged with the creater……….you are waheguru………..o mother and your Khalsa will always blossom

wow………….pretty powerful words our Master Dhan Guru Nanak Dev Ji uttered here………..we “sikhs” shout this everywhere………….we know the path to liberation, we know the price we have to pay……..but why dont we?

Why can we not see past the troubles, anxieties, stresses, wordly pleasures………? even if somehow we manage to convince the world and put on the show of being a “Sikh of Guru Nanak” it all counts for nothing. The filth on Maya still clings, tight as ever to the soul, dragging it back into the three virtues…………..back into pain, unease, suffering…………i like to call it the “Want”

 I have a nice car but i want a better car………….i have a house but i want a better house……….but when we actually look inside…………..do we want this?

as we aquire more our desires increase…………Daas was listening to Katha a few days ago and i heard something quite amazing…………..when we focusing our wants and desires on anything other than waheguru….say for example…….a car…….waheguru may fulfill our desires according to our devotion but once we have our shiny new car, a new worry arises……….what if something happens to this car? then our prayers become: - “waheguru please, u given me this car, please dont let anything happen to it” the list of “wants” simply increasing as does the tension and worry about maintaining our wants…….nothing but grief will come from praying for wordly goods, which when all sed and done will not go with us when we depart from this world……..Pray for strength to rise at amritvela for nitnem, pray for His proctection to fight the 5 thieves…………pray for His the ability to chant his glorious Naam………………which is the true and only source of liberation…………..

but who wants to spend thier lives being a nobody rite?

Bhagat Kabeer did, Bhangat Ravidass did, Bhagat Namdev did…………..these very beings of waheguru…………..turned within themselves and found liberation………………..They found the wealth of Naam within themselves……………how many of us make the consious effort to stop and look within………..we are so piled with filth that we immediatly look to the world……………….which is only an outer refection of the very filth with have inside of us……………..The path of the double edge sword is sharp and narrow but it never wavers………………….it is only US who waver……

Dukh Daroo Sukh Rog Piaah - how ture are these words, we read them in Rehraas during the evening but we stumble through them without fully appreciating how much of an important message Guru Ji is giving us in this one tuk alone.

Imagine you’ve had a stressful day at work, ur boss has been on ur case, your projects arent going so well, u argued with a loved one about something……….but now you cant even remember what…………….You see, Guru Je is so amazing and thats why the first line of the Salok starts with the beautiful tuk…….

 If we are happy? Do we think of Waheguru? when we are engaged in our jobs, day-to-day routines, “living life”, where is Waheguru? a distant thought at the back of our minds that is so often neglected……….Yet waheguru never leaves our side, he is there ensuring we do everything we need to do…………do we thank him? do we even understand the concept that Waheguru sits inside us? This thought process is something many shout out to the world “YES, WAHEGURU IS IN EVERYONE”…………..but do we practise this?

 Why do we continue to shout and scream at those around us? If Waheguru is in all?

Why do we like to criticise and find faults in people? If Waheguru is in all?

I feel this partly comes as a refelection of our own doubts, fears and insecurities, we see in others what we realy see in ourselves and that frieghtens us, This is why Guru Ji stresses so much that we need to look inside……….cos we need to dig out the filth inside our own souls before we can find waheguru……..but if we refuse to see, accept or achknowlegde our own failings and mistakes…………how can we find waheguru?

It so easy to sit hear and type this but upon giving our head to Guru Ji we vowed to follow a true way of life, that Truth is inside us so before raising you voice or hurting someone……….turn inside………..LOOK………….Think………………..Are You any better?

When Guru Nanak Patshah visited the Kabba, Mecca…He faced many problems…as you know Jeevan Qazi kicked Maharaj ji on his feet to move Maharaj ji’s feet away from the Kabba’s direction…But the Kabba followed Maharaj ji’s feet and moved again to where his holy feet were…This was when the qazis gathered up and said sorry to Maharaj ji for misbehaving… This is the time a qazi asked Maharaj ji: How can we recognize your sikhs? How does your sikh look like?…

Maharaj ji answered him “In my tenth form qaziji, I will create a sant sipahi fauj…This army of mine will be different from anyone in this world…saade Gursikh…By the taj (dastar), you will recognize my sikh from far…You’ll recognize my sikh from the way they’ll live their lives, and qazi ji my sikhs will be dead even though they’ll be alive…they will pray for everyone’s wellness but never themselves…They will be my form on this earth…this is how you will recognize my sikhs…In my tenth form, qazi ji, I will create this fauj…”

The last paragrapth of this beautful sakhi acts as a cruel reminder of what the Kahlsa should be and what the Khalsa actually is………..i felt truly ashamed……….sikhi is built on kurbani after kurbani and yet we kurbaan our sikhi to dances like whores to mayas tune……

waheguru……………..these questions kept coming into my mind……………..everyone say the period after one has been blessed with amrit……is utter bliss but the blis…….for me vanished as soon as i walked out of the sanchaar………….the battle i had faced with loved ones before waheguru blessed me came flooding back…………..as did the doubts and insecurities…………

“How will i cope with the facial hair?”
“What if i stop doing amritvela?”
“What if this is a BIG mistake?”

I now realise to walk on the path of sikhi, one is tested by Waheguru………..to build your sikhi strengh we need these and by over-coming them, we can safely continue on this blessed path…….